Stumpage Reports



Wednesday, December 31, 2003 :::
 
Well, Your Friends Come By For You

I had a nice weekend with my friend Ann. She is one of my dearest friends and it always a treat when she comes to visit. She is one of the best cooks in the world, and even though she is on a raw food diet, she'd still cook a nice beef stew for me if I took her to the grocery store. Also, she brings odd things to eat, and I get to sample things I've heard of, but never eaten, this weekend it was a persimmon. And of course, anyone who can appreciate a gift of Webster's Concise Dictionary of American Biography is A-1 in my book.

All of Us, At Times, We Might Work Too Hard

We were slammed at work today. We had been closed for about five days for Christmas, plus I guess everyone gets together with the family at Christmas, hears the family stories and then wants to come in and trace their roots. The people in the search room got hammered and my little world rocked with my boss on vacation and 110 incoming emails. I felt like the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dam, I think I can keep it there until Friday when my boss comes back. People are such idiots, I spent at least an hour today thinking of different ways to say "No we can't answer your question because we don't have that" or "No we can't answer a question like: "Send me everything you have Joe Middleworth from Iredell County, I think he was born after 1730."

Last Watched:

The Night of the Hunter (read the fine Ebert review at the previous link) People can laugh and roll their eyes at Ebert, because of the "thumbs up" thing and the fact he had a popular TV show. But he is one of the most perceptive and accessible writers about film working today, and this review proves it.

This Is Spinal Tap (new DVD w/audio commentary by the band, woo hoo!)

Reading:

The Two Towers by J.R.R. Tolkien.

Last Listened To:

Frosty the Snowman, by the Ronettes.



::: posted by tom at 10:25 AM





Saturday, December 27, 2003 :::
 
I Saw Guns and Sharp Swords in the Hands of Young Children: or, the Most Macho Evening I've Had in a Long Time

The place smelled of cordite and WD-40 and I couldn't remember the last time I felt so out of place. A friend of mine recently came into a large cache of firearms and invited me to the local indoor range, his treat. I used to enjoy plinking at tin cans with my .22 when I was a kid, so in spite of my liberal-leaning, don't want to hurt anyone or make any loud noises personality, I decided to take him up on it.

The place we went to was a combination gun shop and indoor shooting range. Once you got past the terrorist hunting license in the window and the fact that all the sales staff were packing heat, it was just like any other retail establishment engaging in constitutionally protected commerce.

We had to watch a short safety video and take a little quiz before they let us loose on the firing range. The video featured "Jane, a mother of three, competitive shooter, and N.R.A. member." My favorite question on the quiz was: "True or False: after missing its target, a bullet will fall harmlessly to the ground."

It was awfully dim in the range itself, and by the time I put on the required ear and eye protection I felt like I was underwater. I got to shoot a 9mm Ruger that looked like a prop from Reservoir Dogs. When you expended the last bullet, the slide on the top of the gun stayed back, and if you were really good you could press the cartridge release with your thumb, and slam a new cartridge home to shoot some more .... paper targets. I also got to shoot some kind of Tokarev assault rifle. Not only did it shoot bullets, flames also came out of the barrel like you would not believe. Also I had fun with a little .25 semi-auto that could be hidden in the palm of my hand. It wasn't much good past 5 ft or so, but I imagine it would be excellent to carry in a purse and shove in the belly of someone who is not acting like a gentleman.

Of course we picked out the targets that featured human silhouettes. I got lots of body shots, and seemed to favor hitting people in the right shoulder. It's really hard to get a head shot. It was kind of fun and definitely something different for me to do, although I don't see myself doing it again anytime soon. I'm very grateful I don't need to depend on my shooting skills to eat or stay alive.

Last Listened To:

Bob Dylan Live 1975: the Rolling Thunder Revue.


::: posted by tom at 3:15 PM





Tuesday, December 23, 2003 :::
 
???

I'm completely uninspired and currently out of material ... only went to one holiday party this year, usually I'm good for at least two. This one was hosted by a lady someone wanted me to meet. We had met once before and she requested him to bring me to the party ... I have hard enough time chatting up birds, its even more difficult when it is at a party where they are the hostess ... still making my way through The Fellowship of the Ring, Tolkien can tell a ripping yarn, but somehow his prose doesn't lend itself to "Quotes of the Day" ... the first time I read the Lord of the Rings books it was for school and I had to slog through them as though they were the Midgewater Marshes, when I re-read them about 6 years ago I just whipped through them and enjoyed the heck of them, I'm happy to report I'm having the same experience this time around ... I had Christmas lunch with the folks from work the other day, as far as I know, no one I work with knows about or reads this blog, but I'll just play it safe and say nothing ... taking a break from the railroad company ... what the hell's going on here? ... I'm proud to report I got my Christmas shopping done early, but I realized today I'm out of wrapping paper so I have to fight the hordes tonight ... I think next year everyone may get donations in their names to different charities ...


::: posted by tom at 11:17 AM





Saturday, December 20, 2003 :::
 
Favorite Elvis Costello Lyrics of the Day:

She said that she was working for the ABC News
It was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use
Her perfume was unspeakable
It lingered in the air
Like her artificial laughter
Her mementos of affairs

--- Brilliant Mistake, King of America, 1986.

Reading:

The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien.


::: posted by tom at 5:51 PM





Friday, December 19, 2003 :::
 
Book Report

I'm happy to say I finished Empire Falls by Richard Russo. It felt good to read a novel that wasn't written by Stephen King, as much as I like him. It was kind of strange, I was reading the book and enjoying the prose, sense of humor, and how the characters' pasts seemed to become effortlessly interwoven by the author through flashbacks and dialogue. At one point, probably about 200 pages in, I thought "It will be nice when something actually happens." Then about 400 pages into it, I thought "This is so good I don't give a damn if nothing happens." Then when things finally started happening, I thought they seemed a little dramatic and contrived. It was a hell of a satisfying read, one of the best novels I've read in awhile. The English Major in me speaks: what the book is really about are the decisions people make when they are younger, why they made those decisions, and the consequences of them.

Movie Report

I saw The Return of the King last night. Just like the other episodes, the battle scenes were wonderful and the movie ground to a halt whenever Liv Tyler showed up. I gave up counting when we agreed on the sixth time the movie could have ended. [Spoiler coming] I mean, if they didn't film the Scouring of the Shire (one of my favorite parts of the book), why didn't they cut some of that other crap out at the end?

I think the canyon Aragon, the elf, and the dwarf went through to go get the dead warriors was the same canyon they brought the Sumatran Rat Monkey out through in Peter Jackson's movie Dead Alive.

Looking forward to the DVD.


::: posted by tom at 11:19 AM





Thursday, December 18, 2003 :::
 
Sometimes NPR Gives Me Gas

I heard part of this story on Wednesday morning on my way to work. The little text feature I linked to does not begin to hint at the adjective-laden, pretentious bullshit that comprised the story. If you're really up for some punishment you can hear an audio link here. Its the story entitled "A Very Live Oak."

There is just a certain rhythm and quality of metaphor that a lot of NPR stories have that makes me gag. There was one place in here they described someone "Eyes bright, blue, clear, she said blah blah .... " That little stringing together of the adjectives after the subject seems to be a trademark of theirs. Wait, eyes isn't the subject there, I guess the speaker is. Was that an adjectival phrase? I don't what it is called, but I know crap when I hear it.

My favorite part was when one of the old folks told the reporter, "Sometimes the tree talks to me." The reporter asked, without missing a beat, "What does the tree say?" I think it would have been funny if the reporter had said, "You know that it is fucking insane to say that a tree talks to you?"



::: posted by tom at 11:28 AM





Tuesday, December 16, 2003 :::
 
Return to Middle School

Yesterday another guy and I had to go to a public school and give the same presentation five times to five different classes of eighth graders. They are working on North Carolina Civil War projects and we told them how to use the Archives. I had not been in a middle school, since, well, middle school. It was kind of strange walking down the halls packed with these short people and their lockers. Being the youngest person in my family, children are pretty much a mystery to me. A few observations:

These kids were much, much better behaved than the classes I was in in the eighth grade. I had one math class, it was a dull day if no one got thrown out of class.

I was amazed at the kids' ability to completely and totally ignore us unless we were giving our presentation. The other guy and I sat in little chairs at the front of the class and as the kids filed in they did not (seemingly) even give us a glance.

At least one-quarter of the kids had a Lord of the Rings book or some kind of Lord of the Rings thing on their notebooks.

At one point my co-worker leaned over and whispered to me: "I'm trying to pick out the nerdy kid all by himself that would've been me." I answered: "I'm doing exactly the same thing."

All in all it was a good experience. We got to get out of the office for a day and its something to put in my monthly report. Some of the kids actually seemed interested. In a few weeks we get to go back to see their presentations and completed projects. That will be nice, usually librarians and archivists don't get to see the end results of all this research they helped someone with.


::: posted by tom at 10:52 AM





Saturday, December 13, 2003 :::
 
(Overheard) Spiritual Nugget of the Day

Live each day like its your last. Someday you'll be right.



::: posted by tom at 8:27 AM





Friday, December 12, 2003 :::
 
Civil War Schmivil War

Its been all Civil War, all the time, the last day and a half at work. Looking up Confederate Pension Records and Troop Rosters for people. I haven't even found any interesting maimings, woundings, or anecdotes. Usually looking at 20-25 of these things is good for something. I was able to get one small, perverse thrill though. People often either send us not enough information or way too much. One patron enclosed a letter with quite a long narrative about this guy's service, culminating in his death at the Battle of Stones River in 1863. Sorry buddy, no pension record for your soldier, and the troop roster says "Reported absent without leave February 16, 1864. Listed as deserter on April 7, 1864. Dropped from the company rolls on or about April 30, 1864." Ha ha (in a Nelson Muntz tone).

I was justed handed an assignment to look through a collection of papers for a statement about the last hours before Fort Fisher fell to the Yankees. And you want to pay me to do this?

Can't Get That Damn Song Out Of My Head Section:

Yesterday my boss kept singing the song "Santa Baby." This morning I was greeted with this.


::: posted by tom at 10:50 AM





Thursday, December 11, 2003 :::
 
History Nerd Links

Alice Williamson Diary, 1863. Diary of a young girl in a Tennessee town occupied by Federal troops. She is rather resentful about the presence of the Yankees. "they have neither burned any houses or killed anybody in three whole days. What is going to happen? surely the rebels are coming once again to this God-forsaken village. "

Arctic Blue Books Online. A searchable electronic version of "Andrew Taylor's unique index to the 19th Century British Parliamentary Papers concerned with the Canadian Arctic." I just love people who have the time and motivation to do something like this. (I mean people who digitize things like this, not kill indians.) "The indian who was killed they left behind; he was pitched down upon the river, and afterwards eaten by the dogs."

Samuel J. May Anti-Slavery Collection. Cornell University makes available over 10,000 pamphlets, leaflets, broadsides, newsletters of local and regional anti-slavery societies, sermons, essays, and arguments for and against slavery. "...but the disposition of the crowd seemed to be to shoot colored children and to maltreat or to kill any colored person who came along. They drove the colored men out of their shanties, and if they started to run would shoot them down indiscriminately."

Selected civil War Photographs from the Library of Congress. No elaboration needed.

A Sketch of the Battle of Franklin, Tenn.: With Reminiscences of Camp Douglas. One of my favorite Civil War battles. I love the sense of understatement these guys would use: "...but each time I obtained a glimpse of any of them, and before I could shoot, a cannon would run out and fire, forcing me to take refuge away from it. After getting my face blistered and eyebrows burned off, I abandoned that dangerous place by getting back away from the blaze of these guns."


Newest Downtown Discovery

I've been very good about packing a lunch every day to take to work. I treat myself to lunch out once a week. My newest favorite place is the cafeteria hidden in the bowels of the Legislative Building. It specializes in overcooked, southern cafeteria food. Today I had beef tips over rice w/gravy, green beans, a roll, and sweet tea for $6.10. The elevators in the building have red carpeting and bright brass fixtures, they look like they belong in a pimp's apartment. The lobby is filled with ashtrays, unusual for a public building even here in N.C. Guess they gotta keep the tobacco lobbyists happy when they're in the lobby.


::: posted by tom at 12:57 PM





Wednesday, December 10, 2003 :::
 
Funniest name I've ran across at work this week:

Zeno Mozingo

Literary Korner:

After a couple of weeks of reading magazines and Stephen King novellas for the third time, I've finally started a real fiction book. Its Empire Falls by Richard Russo. It won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 2002. Its very good so far and I hope I can stick with it, this guy can write.

For some reason I've been intrigued by this book, and after hearing an interview with the author on the local NPR station, I decided to give it a shot.

Earlier this year I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon . Wow, two Pulitzer Prize winners in one year, thats a lot for me.

Quote of the Day:

Had he known how many times he would repeat that phrase ["yes dear"] to this woman, how it would become the mantra of their marriage, he might well have recollected the river's invitation and committed himself to its current then and there and followed the moose downstream, thereby saving himself a great deal of misery and the price of the handgun he would purchase thirty years later for the purpose of ending his life.

--- Richard Russo, Empire Falls, 2001.

::: posted by tom at 4:04 PM





Tuesday, December 09, 2003 :::
 
Quiz Time: Fossilized Folkie or Free Press?

Are the following phrases songs from The Anthology of American Folk Music, edited by Harry Smith OR actual, goofy, newspaper names from the nineteenth century? Answers below.

1. Home of Mirth

2. David's Sling

3. Peg and Awl

4. Blue Hen's Chickens

5. Indian War Whoop

6. Wagoner's Lad

7. Locomotive Screw Driver

8. The Coo Coo Bird

9. John the Revelator

10. Old Oaken Bucket

Answers:

1. Newspaper

2. Newspaper

3. Folk song, by The Carolina Tar Heels

4. Newspaper

5. Folk Song, by Hoyt Ming & His Pep-Steppers

6. Folk Song, by Buell Kazee

7. Newspaper

8. Folk Song, by Clarence Ashley

9. Folk Song, by Blind Willie Johnson

10. Newspaper

Work Woes

Lots of people out sick, at the doctor's etc. So I got spend all morning on the front desk and deal with people like Butt Crack Guy and his Harpy Mother, and Everything Is Out of Order Lady. I still found time to go upstairs to another department for a few minutes. I lady I know is working on a book on Civil War amputations and she had a fake leg up there that used to belong to a Civil War vet. It was pretty cool to see. We think it might be the only surviving tarheel fake Civil War leg. Most of the guys wore them out, but this guy had some less sophisticated legs he wore for everyday and this was his Sunday Go To Meeting leg.

A bad day here is still better than a good day at most other jobs I've had.


::: posted by tom at 1:35 PM





Friday, December 05, 2003 :::
 
Scary-Ass Quote of the Day:

This is the first time I've ever seen people whisper when they criticize the President.

--- Ron Garrett, ex-U.S. Army Security Agent


::: posted by tom at 10:45 AM





Thursday, December 04, 2003 :::
 
I guess I should just send Rhino Records all of my money.

::: posted by tom at 1:23 PM




 
Quote of the Day:

Such was the effect of this simple piece of crape, that more than one woman of delicate nerves was forced to leave the meeting-house. Yet perhaps the pale-faced congregation was almost as fearful a sight to the minister, as his black veil to them.

--- Nathaniel Hawthorne, "The Minister's Black Veil", 1836.

Links:

Woo hoo! The complete works of Nathaniel Hawthorne online!

This is a link to a nice page about a rare book exhibit that was at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee Library.

Random University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire student blog of the day: Lost.

Here's a nice story about life in Amerika today. Read the second story down, "More From Miami" by Dave Lippman.

I'm still not sure what this is, but I'm intrigued. I don't know what exactly a "degree confluence" is, and I forgot what an integer was about 2.3 seconds after I took an Algebra exam back in 1986.

Bonus Quote of the Day:

The attack had gone across the field, been held up by machine-gun fire from the sunken road and from the group of farm houses, encountered no resistance in the town, and reached the bank of the river. Coming along the road on a bicycle, getting off to push the machine when the surface of the road became too broken, Nicholas Adams saw what had happened by the position of the dead.

--- Ernest Hemingway, "A Way You'll Never Be," 1933.


::: posted by tom at 11:12 AM





Wednesday, December 03, 2003 :::
 
Lord of the Geeks

I know I'm a little late for the nerd-fest in the comments section of a recent post by James, but last night I finished watching The Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers on DVD and had a few observations on the movie. I'm not even close to being a Tolkien geek. I've read the books twice and probably will again after the third movie, and did not even see the second movie in the theaters.

1. The scenery was stunning.

2. They did a hell of a job on Golem.

3. Merry and Pippin come across as a couple of semi-useless goofs, I'm not sure if that was the case in the books.

4. I don't think its possible to do an Ent on film without having it look stupid.

5. As far as the Faramir character not being treated right in the film, I was hard pressed to remember who in the hell that was until he showed up in the movie.

6. Everytime they showed the fires of Mordor looming on the horizon, I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite Tolkien illustrations: The End of All Things by Michael Whelan.

History Shmistory:

Yesterday at work I found a Confederate Pension Record for a soldier named Henry Henry Henry.


::: posted by tom at 12:01 PM





Monday, December 01, 2003 :::
 
Punk Memories

I mentioned earlier I was buying Rhino Records' anthology No Thanks! The '70s Punk Rebellion. I got it last week, and after a three hour road trip to Charlotte with it in the car, here is a link-laden post of impressions and memories after listening to it:

... they could not have opened the collection with anything but the Ramones' "Blitzkreig Bop" ... worst vocal performance goes to Poly Styrene of X-Ray Spex in the song "Oh Bondage Up Yours!" ... I used to have a button that said "Blondie is a group!"... The Runaways song "Cherry Bomb" is just as embarrassing as it was 20+ years ago, and I still can't help liking it ... it was nice to hear The Boomtown Rats again ... The New York Dolls song Personality Crisis has a great scream at the beginning ... the first time I heard the New York Dolls -- sitting with a guy named Glenn and splitting a fifth of Seagram's whiskey, smoking hash, and hearing their debut album (about 7-8 years after it came out) ... best song title: "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" ... the collection contains the single version of The Jam's The Modern World, hence you hear Paul Weller spit out "I don't give a damn about your review," rather than "I don't give two fucks about your review" ... best group name: Richard Hell and the Voidoids...

Quote of the Day:

I began another boys' book -- more to be at work than anything else. I have written 400 pages on it -- therefore it is very nearly half done. It is Huck Finn's Autobiography. I like it only tolerably well, as far as I have got, and may possibly pigeonhole or burn the MS when it is done.

--- Samuel L. Clemens to William Dean Howells, August 9, 1876.


::: posted by tom at 11:25 AM









I'd taken the cure and had just gotten through...

_______________
_______________
_______________



Powered by Blogger