Stumpage Reports



Wednesday, May 18, 2005 :::
 
Looking For Jesus in the Dusty Stacks

Tuesday at work, some lady who was really happy about being religious came in. She pulled out her piece of paper with names and dates on it of people she wanted to look up. I said "Can I help you?" She looked at me, grinned, and said "Do you think I will find Jesus Christ if I do research here?" I looked at her with a straight face and said what we often say when someone throws a random name at us: "I don't know, did he die in North Carolina?" She kind of snickered, then asked me her real question and everything was fine.

The above was a rare occasion of me thinking of the snappy answer that second, rather than three hours later. On reflection though, this answer would have better: "This state didn't enact vital records legislation until 1913, so we wouldn't have a death certificate for him."

Quote of the Day:

"And I told the world that your case for the war was a pack of lies. I told the world that Iraq, contrary to your claims, did not have weapons of mass destruction. I told the world, contrary to your claims, that Iraq had no connection to Al Qaeda. I told the world, contrary to your claims, that Iraq had no connection to the atrocity on 9/11, 2001. I told the world, contrary to your claims, that the Iraqi people would resist a British and American invasion of their country and that the fall of Baghdad would not be the beginning of the end, but merely the end of the beginning.

Senator, in everything I said about Iraq, I turned out to be right and you turned out to be wrong. And 100,000 people have paid with their lives, 1,600 of them American soldiers sent to their deaths on a pack of lies; 15,000 of them wounded, many of them disabled forever on a pack of lies."

--- British guy George Galloway, testifying before Congress about some shit to do with the oil for food program in Iraq, May 17, 2005.

Link of the Day:


In honor of the new Star Wars moving coming out, here is a link to the Princess Leia Metal Bikini Page.

::: posted by tom at 7:12 AM









I'd taken the cure and had just gotten through...

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