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Stumpage Reports
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Thursday, August 28, 2003 :::
The Crossword Puzzle Man
When I worked in telephone reference, we had lots of regulars. One of our favorites was The Crossword Puzzle Man. Like his name implies, he would call looking for answers for the crossword he was working. He was an older guy, and had a rough, sandpapery voice. He wouldn't even say hello, just bark out his clue. He was pretty impatient too. Once we figured out he was doing the USA Today puzzle, we could go to the web site, set the puzzle on "easy" and right click to get the answers. He thought we were genius, "I need a five-letter word for an ancient Mesopatamian after-dinner drink." No problem.
He didn't care where we got the answers, it was fine with him if we just blurted it out. A few classic exchanges here:
CWPM: "Snoop Doggy Blank"
Librarian: "Dog"
CWPM: "It has four letters."
Librarian: Its spelled D-o-g-g.
CWPM: "Thank you" (click)
CWPM: "Elvis Presley song, Love Me Blank, five letters."
Librarian: "Tender"
CWPM: "Thank you, you know everything" (click)
Ed can tell this next one better than I can. I was known to do a crossword or two myself at work. One day the USA Today puzzle was particularly easy, and I did it in about 10 minutes, and then announced "If the Crossword Puzzle Man calls today, he's a fucking idiot." A little while later, Ed saw me hanging the phone up and saying "What a fucking idiot."
::: posted by tom at 9:40 PM
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